In a heartbreaking yet profoundly spiritual development, local woman Sarah P. reported that after letting Jesus into her heart during an emotionally charged Sunday service, she has heard absolutely nothing from Him since.
“It was beautiful,” Sarah said, clutching a mug of herbal tea and staring wistfully out of her kitchen window. “The pastor said He was knocking, and I thought, ‘Okay, Jesus, come on in.’ I even gave Him my whole heart—not just part of it. But now it’s been three weeks, and… nothing. No calls, no texts. Not even a like on my Instagram post about it.”
Sarah admits she felt an initial connection, describing a euphoric feeling that was “like being wrapped in a heavenly hug” during the altar call. But after the service, things got oddly quiet. “I told Him all my plans, my hopes, my dreams. I even deleted Tinder. I thought we were building something real.”
Friends have been supportive but divided on the issue. “Look, Jesus is probably busy. He has, like, a lot of hearts to be in,” said her friend Kelly R., a self-described “part-time Christian” who hasn’t been to church since the pre-pandemic potluck era. “I’m sure He’ll get around to her eventually. Just, like, pray again or whatever.”
Others suspect a more sobering reality. “Classic ghosting behavior,” said Becky T., who once went on a date with a guy named Luke J. “He said he was all about commitment, but then he disappeared. It’s the same vibe—big promises, no follow-through. Now she’s left rereading Psalms like it’s a text thread.”
Despite the silence, Sarah remains optimistic. “I’ve started writing letters to Him. The old-fashioned kind, you know, with paper and ink,” she said, producing a stationary set emblazoned with the phrase Blessed & Highly Favored. “Even if He doesn’t write back, it feels good to share my thoughts. Also, I signed up for a Bible study group called Texts from Jesus. So, we’ll see.”
When asked for comment, Sarah’s pastor suggested patience. “Jesus moves in mysterious ways,” he said. “Also, check your spam folder. You never know.”
As Sarah continues her journey of faith, she remains hopeful that one day she’ll wake up to a divine notification that says, “Hey, you up? – JC.” Until then, her heart remains open—and slightly on read.
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