Woman Lets Jesus Into Her Heart; He Hasn’t Called or Texted Since
"Local woman lets Jesus into her heart, but three weeks later, she’s still waiting for a follow-up text."
Pretty Sure Dentist Just Farted But Can’t Say Anything in Middle of Root Canal
“I couldn’t even turn my head to give him a look,” Brandon lamented, “because, you know, drills and all.”
Local Man Pretty Sure He’d Run a Corporation Better Than CEO
Carl B., a self-proclaimed business mastermind and full-time disability recipient since 2012, took to social media this week with a bold claim: he...
Scientists Confirm: People Who Watch Major News Channels Are Actually Less Informed Than Uncontacted Amazonian Tribes
A new study finds that cable news viewers might actually be less informed about the world than uncontacted tribes in the Amazon. At...
Local Man Pretty Sure He’d Run a Corporation Better Than CEO
Carl B., a self-proclaimed business mastermind and full-time disability recipient since 2012, took to social media this week with a bold claim: he...
Corporate Puts In Changes to ‘Boost Morale and Productivity’
Help Employees Find Motivation to Update Resumes
Scientists Confirm: People Who Watch Major News Channels Are Actually Less Informed Than Uncontacted Amazonian Tribes
A new study finds that cable news viewers might actually be less informed about the world than uncontacted tribes in the Amazon. At...
The FBI Finally Finds Waldo
“After decades of international hide-and-seek, the FBI has finally captured Waldo in Luxembourg. Turns out, the best disguise was just refusing to change...
12 Things Men Secretly Crave, According to Women
"Turns out all a man really wants is constant snack interventions, hourly check-ins, and a Zodiac compatibility consultation. Or so we think."
Area Divorced Dads Know Nothing About Women, Everything About Diesel Engines, Smoking Pork Butt, and WWII Submarines
New stats reveal area divorced dads have a 100% proficiency in diesel engines, smoking pork, and WWII submarines, but are clueless about relationships.
Local Yard’s Fattest Squirrel Now a Round, Rolling Force of Nature
Lord Fatty McAcorn, a squirrel so round he's practically rolling, has taken winter prep to new extremes by eating everything in sight. Who...
Local Housewife Holds Strong Opinions on Geopolitics Despite Never Leaving Iowa
"I don’t need to go to Europe to know it’s a mess over there,” says Karen L., 52, who holds strong opinions on...
Man Claims “It’s About the Journey, Not the Destination” as Family Realizes They’ve Been Lost for 3 Hours
ocal man Jared F. was reported as saying, "It’s about the journey, not the destination," while stubbornly refusing to admit he’s been lost...
Man Fears Nothing at a Haunted House, His Own Apartment – The Real Horror
"Bryan S. laughed his way through the state’s most terrifying haunted house. His secret? His apartment is a far scarier place."
Local Man Plays Another Round of Call of Duty, Sparking Parents’ Dog Adoption
"The dog won’t talk back, it won’t order DoorDash four times a week, and at this point, it has a better chance of...
Co-worker Tells a Story, With Breath So Bad It Makes Man’s Eyes Water
"The more he talked, the worse it got. It was like he had a three-course meal of garlic, roadkill, and onions just before...
Man Stands Right Next to You at Urinal, Tries to Start Conversation
In what can only be described as a modern tragedy, local man Kevin J. made the bold decision to stand directly next to...
Man Working in Call Center Wonders If Being Homeless Is All That Bad
After another soul-crushing shift filled with angry customers, Gavin L. is starting to wonder if living on the streets might offer more freedom...
When 90s Nostalgia Meets Gen Z: A Personal Story
Local man David B. realizes he's no longer part of the cool crowd after being referred to as born in the "late 1900s"...
Politicians Announce: Your Tax Money Is Being Used to Help Those Who Need It Most—Politicians and Their Families
"Thanks to your tax dollars, my brother’s consulting firm just got another government contract, and my daughter’s internship on the National Commission for...
Woman Drowning in Debt Thinks Getting One More Loan Will Fix Things
"I could’ve used the loan for my high-interest credit cards," Emily admitted while browsing Amazon. "But, like, I’ve been eyeing this smart fridge,...
Local Man Performs Annual ‘Change of Bed Sheets’ Ritual
After 364 days of rigorous non-laundry, local man Greg M. undertakes his yearly bed-sheet change, declaring his bed a 'sanctified' zone.
Local Man Feels Urge to Discuss Politics With Customer Service Rep
"I’m just here to help with your internet connection," said the customer service rep, just moments before reconsidering her entire life.
When 90s Nostalgia Meets Gen Z: A Personal Story
Local man David B. realizes he's no longer part of the cool crowd after being referred to as born in the "late 1900s"...
New TikTok Trend Takes Over, You’re Dumb for Not Following It
“It’s like, if you’re not doing this TikTok challenge, why are you even alive? What do you do all day? Work? Pffft, that’s...
Local Man Performs Annual ‘Change of Bed Sheets’ Ritual
After 364 days of rigorous non-laundry, local man Greg M. undertakes his yearly bed-sheet change, declaring his bed a 'sanctified' zone.
Local Man Feels Urge to Discuss Politics With Customer Service Rep
"I’m just here to help with your internet connection," said the customer service rep, just moments before reconsidering her entire life.
Local Man’s Biggest Turn-On Is Getting IRS Notices
Local man Dave R. reveals his unusual fetish for financial domination, finding excitement in debt and tax obligations rather than traditional kinks. He...
Jogger Spends More Time Picking Playlist Than Actually Running
"Local jogger Matt T. spends more time curating the ultimate 'Beast Mode' playlist than actually running – because true cardio requires a soundtrack."
Guy at Gym Still Doesn’t Know How to Use Half the Equipment, But He’s Not Asking
"Local gym-goer Todd R. has been misusing fitness equipment for six months and refuses all assistance, claiming he’s 'just here for the vibes.'"
Local Man Plays Another Round of Call of Duty, Sparking Parents’ Dog Adoption
"The dog won’t talk back, it won’t order DoorDash four times a week, and at this point, it has a better chance of...
