Hot Trash
The News
Man with ADHD Keeps Telling Himself He’ll Throw Out the Trash Soon
"Local man with ADHD, Peter J., swears he's moments away from taking out the trash. Just after he reorganizes his Spotify playlists. Again."
Pet Cat Has Rich Inner Life, Owner Only Sees Cat Staring Out the Window All Day
"While Sheila thinks her cat Bootsie is just staring blankly out the window, Bootsie is actually plotting elaborate schemes, mostly involving how to...
Politician Caught Telling the Truth
Political analysts are already calling the incident “the most bizarre misstep in recent memory,” with many questioning whether Hastings will be able to...
Man Working in Call Center Wonders If Being Homeless Is All That Bad
After another soul-crushing shift filled with angry customers, Gavin L. is starting to wonder if living on the streets might offer more freedom...
Woman Drowning in Debt Thinks Getting One More Loan Will Fix Things
"I could’ve used the loan for my high-interest credit cards," Emily admitted while browsing Amazon. "But, like, I’ve been eyeing this smart fridge,...
New Reality TV Show Will Feature Fat People Eating Donuts, as Producers Throw Loose Change at Them and Yell Fat-Themed Insults
“This is the future of television,” one producer exclaimed while practicing his aim with a handful of nickels. “We don’t need plot twists...
Aunt With No Medical Degree Knows the Perfect Essential Oil to Help You
"Without a medical degree but brimming with misplaced confidence, Aunt Linda R. has been prescribing a variety of floral and citrus-scented concoctions for...
Hell Hath No Fury Like a Karen Trying to Get Her Expired Coupons Accepted
"Policies are for people without rights," Karen declared, apparently unaware of how that word actually works.
