Local Woman
Woman’s Attempt to Secure Loan Thwarted by Lack of Credit, Stable Income, Collateral, Common Sense
"A local woman’s attempt to secure a loan was swiftly denied due to her severe lack of credit, income, collateral, and common sense."
Local Woman Confident She’s Only 4-5 Toxic Relationships Away from Finding “The One”
"Sara H., a seasoned veteran of questionable romances, is confident she’s only four or five emotional catastrophes away from her soulmate. 'If I...
Girl with No Personality Adds “Bisexual” to Instagram Profile, Like a Chef Adding Garnish to a Boring Meal
"Local twenty-something Ashley M. has added 'bisexual' to her Instagram bio, comparing it to sprinkling a touch of parsley over a plain dish...
Blind Date Win: He Isn’t a Murderer, She Isn’t Fat
In what sources are calling a resounding victory for the lowered expectations of dating in the modern age, local woman Linda M., 29,...
Woman Drowning in Debt Thinks Getting One More Loan Will Fix Things
"I could’ve used the loan for my high-interest credit cards," Emily admitted while browsing Amazon. "But, like, I’ve been eyeing this smart fridge,...
Social Justice Warrior Believes Everyone’s Voice Should Be Heard—Unless You Disagree With Her, Then You Should Be Cancelled
Samantha L., a local social justice advocate, promotes inclusivity and freedom of expression while insisting that dissenting opinions should be silenced. She defines...
Aunt With No Medical Degree Knows the Perfect Essential Oil to Help You
"Without a medical degree but brimming with misplaced confidence, Aunt Linda R. has been prescribing a variety of floral and citrus-scented concoctions for...
Hell Hath No Fury Like a Karen Trying to Get Her Expired Coupons Accepted
"Policies are for people without rights," Karen declared, apparently unaware of how that word actually works.
