In a truly groundbreaking display of digital misguidance, local teenager Ryan D. has bravely shattered new boundaries of internet naïveté by confusing Reddit with Google. Sources report that Ryan, 17, posted a seemingly harmless query—”How long does it take to boil an egg?”—in the r/cooking subreddit, thinking that he was typing into the comforting embrace of the Google search bar.
“I just didn’t feel like Googling it,” Ryan explained, eyes glazed over from hours of staring at a screen that offered him everything except the information he needed. “I figured someone would know.”
But instead of a swift, algorithm-powered answer like one might expect from a search engine, Ryan was met with Reddit’s trademark cocktail of delay, degradation, and chaos. For hours, Ryan eagerly refreshed the page, expecting something helpful, as if he hadn’t just entered the digital equivalent of walking into a biker bar wearing a sign that says, Please Mock Me.
After a few minutes of tense anticipation, the responses trickled in. And much like every Reddit thread in history, they were anything but useful.
The first response, clocking in three minutes after his post, simply said, “Boil it until it catches fire.” The second, a link to a YouTube video of someone microwaving eggs until they exploded. A third commenter, clearly a seasoned Reddit troll, offered this helpful insight: “Have you tried asking your mom?”
“It was brutal,” said Ryan, revisiting the carnage of replies, many of which also insulted his intelligence, taste in music, and somehow, his haircut. “I thought it would be more like Google, but it turns out Reddit is just a bunch of people who are bored and mean. My question is still unanswered, by the way.”
Ryan has since learned a crucial lesson in the hierarchy of online resources. When asked whether he plans to use Reddit as a substitute for Google again, Ryan shook his head solemnly. “I think I’ll stick to Google for anything that requires an actual answer,” he said, adding that he may still use Reddit to ask people their favorite color, or perhaps which superpower they’d choose if stranded on a desert island.
Redditors, for their part, seemed to be pleased with the outcome. One anonymous poster claimed it was a “good day” to be on Reddit, and another suggested the site should implement an official warning system for any future misguided teens looking for useful information.
The teen is reportedly “back to Googling things like a normal person,” but occasionally returns to Reddit, now that he knows it’s a place for arguments, conspiracy theories, and memes—not a place to find out how long to boil an egg.
This is hilarious! 😂