Year: 2024
Local Dad Pulls Ultimate Dad Power Move
"It's the BBQ equivalent of getting pantsed in front of the whole neighborhood."
Man Loses 180 lb of Unhealthy Weight by Filing for Divorce
“I instantly dropped 180 pounds of negativity the moment those papers were signed. Divorce is the best diet plan out there!”
Man Turns 30 with Big Dreams, But All He Gets Is a Bald Spot
"I thought 30 would bring wisdom and success," says local man. "Turns out, all it brought was male-pattern betrayal."
Man Devastated After Losing 8-Leg Parlay; Sources Confirm Rent Money Was on the Line
"I was one game away from never working again!"
Man Wonders “Who Are These Kids, and Why Are They Calling Me Dad?” After Working 65-80 Hours Per Week for the Past 7 Years
Local man Greg T. discovers two small humans calling him "Dad" after spending the last seven years buried in work.
Harley-Davidson Owner Begins Questioning if It’s the Bikes or the Men in Leather He’s Truly Into
Brad Thompson, a long-time Harley-Davidson enthusiast, is questioning the nature of his passion for motorcycling. While he appreciates his motorcycle, he finds himself...
Nation’s Obese Women Declare Scales Are Fatphobic, Demand More Inclusive Measuring Systems
In a groundbreaking act of self-empowerment, a coalition of the nation’s obese women has officially declared that bathroom scales are “fatphobic,” citing their...
Nation’s News Media Finally Admits: “We Don’t Care If It’s True, As Long As You Keep Watching”
In a rare moment of collective honesty, the nation’s leading news outlets came together today to admit what many have suspected for years:...
Man Claims: Hearing Voices, Paranoia, and Smoking Crystal Meth Are Unrelated
Darren “D-Money” Johnson, 38, claims his severe paranoia and hallucinations are unrelated to his crystal meth use, despite being detained after alarming public...
Man Stakes Entire Happiness on Fantasy Football League, Most Starters Injured by Now, Off to 0-3 Start
Dallas, TX – In a tragic turn of events for local man Jake Thompson, his happiness, which he had precariously balanced on the...
