Hot Trash
The News
BLM Activists in Moscow, Demand Russia Elect a Black President
"We thought 'ОМОН' was their version of BLM, but it turns out they don’t do allyship—just batons."
CIA Recruits Johnny Sins to Penetrate ISIS Terrorist Cell
“With years of experience in deep-cover operations, Johnny has proven time and time again that he can go in hard, stay in for...
Woman Lets Jesus Into Her Heart; He Hasn’t Called or Texted Since
"Local woman lets Jesus into her heart, but three weeks later, she’s still waiting for a follow-up text."
Local Man Surprised No Food in His Fridge After Checking 7 Times
“There’s no food here—just ingredients to make food,” local man laments after checking his refrigerator seven times, hoping for a miracle.
Pretty Sure Dentist Just Farted But Can’t Say Anything in Middle of Root Canal
“I couldn’t even turn my head to give him a look,” Brandon lamented, “because, you know, drills and all.”
Local Man Pretty Sure He’d Run a Corporation Better Than CEO
Carl B., a self-proclaimed business mastermind and full-time disability recipient since 2012, took to social media this week with a bold claim: he...
Scientists Confirm: People Who Watch Major News Channels Are Actually Less Informed Than Uncontacted Amazonian Tribes
A new study finds that cable news viewers might actually be less informed about the world than uncontacted tribes in the Amazon. At...
The FBI Finally Finds Waldo
“After decades of international hide-and-seek, the FBI has finally captured Waldo in Luxembourg. Turns out, the best disguise was just refusing to change...
