In a bold stand against the evils of capitalism, local college student and self-proclaimed activist Chloe Sinclair took to Twitter this morning to declare, “It’s time to bring down capitalism!”—a tweet that was promptly sent from her brand-new iPhone 15 while she enjoyed a $9 artisanal oat milk latte, all courtesy of her parents’ credit card.
Chloe, a sophomore majoring in sociology, has become increasingly vocal about the need to dismantle capitalist systems, though her actions paint a slightly different picture. “We need to fight against the exploitation of the working class,” she wrote in her now-viral tweet, as she lounged in a trendy coffee shop known for its ethically sourced, yet exorbitantly priced, beverages.
“People are blind to the fact that capitalism is ruining everything,” said Chloe, after switching from Twitter to Instagram to post a story about the new eco-friendly sneakers she purchased for $200. “It’s like, no one even cares about wealth inequality anymore.”
Despite her vocal disdain for capitalism, Chloe’s lifestyle seems to suggest a comfortable relationship with the very system she aims to dismantle. Between her fully furnished off-campus apartment, luxury streaming subscriptions, and frequent Uber Eats orders, many are left wondering how she reconciles her anti-capitalist message with her daily indulgences.
When asked how she funds her personal war on capitalism, Chloe quickly clarified that her parents, both successful business owners, “totally support” her cause. “They understand the importance of standing up against corporate greed. It’s why they pay for all of my textbooks and trips to New York for protest rallies,” she explained, taking another sip of her pricey coffee.
Chloe’s peers, while supportive of her passion, have privately raised questions about the optics of her activism. “I mean, I get where she’s coming from, but it’s kind of hard to take her seriously when she’s tweeting about overthrowing capitalism from her MacBook Pro,” said fellow student Ashley Ramirez. “She’s not exactly living the revolution.”
At press time, Chloe was reportedly planning to attend a campus rally against corporate influence in politics—though she was having difficulty finding time between her upcoming summer trip to Europe and a shopping spree planned at an organic, eco-friendly clothing boutique.
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