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Local Woman Convinced Gas Pedal Is On/Off Switch

Passengers Terrified, Developing New Fear of Carpooling

elegant woman sitting in a car
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Local driver Sarah B., 33, insists that the gas pedal in her 2013 Toyota Corolla functions more like an On/Off switch than a delicate instrument of vehicular control. To Sarah, there are only two speeds: zero and warp drive, with absolutely no room for anything in between. Her passengers? Gripping onto seat belts as though their lives depended on it — because they very well might.

“It’s like she’s either fully at rest or trying to break a new land-speed record,” reported Alex K., a friend who unwittingly agreed to carpool. “We’re all sitting there, bracing ourselves as if every ride might be the last.”

Sarah’s approach has transformed every trip into a rollercoaster of sudden stops and rapid accelerations, creating a unique driving experience that blends the thrill of NASCAR with the panic of a plane crash simulation. Local chiropractor offices report an uptick in appointments among her friends and family, citing “whiplash with a side of existential crisis.”

When asked about her driving technique, Sarah shrugged it off, saying, “I like to keep it simple. Gas or no gas. That’s all anyone needs to know.”

This binary understanding of the gas pedal’s function has raised alarms among automotive professionals. “Most people understand acceleration as a spectrum,” explained mechanic Dan M. “But Sarah sees it as a light switch — you either press it or you don’t. She’s really pushing the boundaries of what a Toyota Corolla can withstand.”

Uber drivers in the area report a new wave of business as friends and neighbors desperately try to avoid carpooling with Sarah. One passenger even admitted to faking a work-from-home arrangement to dodge another high-speed “go big or go home” commute. “It’s like a real-life crash course in physics,” the passenger explained. “Mostly, the part about objects in motion staying in motion… and how terrifying that really is.”

Still, Sarah remains unfazed by the feedback. “Everyone says they want a faster commute,” she quipped, “but when I deliver, they start praying. Can’t win with these people.”

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