In what local authorities are calling a highly perplexing statement, area man Darren “D-Money” Johnson, 38, insisted this week that his frequent experiences of hearing voices, extreme paranoia, and habitual smoking of crystal methamphetamine are “totally unrelated” and that people need to “stop jumping to conclusions.”
Johnson, who was apprehended by police after a public outburst involving what he described as “government agents hiding in the streetlights,” claims that the sudden onset of his paranoia has “absolutely nothing to do” with his escalating meth use. “I don’t know why everyone’s so quick to blame the meth,” Johnson said in an interview conducted from the county jail. “I’ve been smoking it for years, and I only started hearing voices like, what, three months ago? That’s just a coincidence, man.”
According to friends and family, Johnson has increasingly become convinced that he is being surveilled by “invisible drones” and that mysterious figures are leaving him cryptic messages in TV commercials. Despite these troubling signs, Johnson remains adamant that meth has played no role in his recent mental state. “I know what you’re thinking, but that stuff only gives you energy. It’s like coffee, you know? The voices are probably just, like, from the radio waves or something.”
Local psychiatrist Dr. Melanie Abrams, who specializes in substance abuse-related psychosis, was less convinced. “Mr. Johnson’s symptoms are textbook examples of methamphetamine-induced psychosis,” she explained. “It’s not uncommon for individuals who use meth to experience paranoia, auditory hallucinations, and delusions. The fact that he’s drawing no connection between the drug use and his condition is, unfortunately, a common aspect of the psychosis itself.”
Despite the clear correlation, Johnson has remained defensive about his lifestyle choices. “Look, sure, I smoke a little crystal here and there, but that’s just to keep me focused. It has nothing to do with the fact that I saw a guy dressed as a raccoon spying on me from my neighbor’s roof last night. People act like it’s all related, but it’s just not.”
At press time, Johnson was reportedly still denying any link between his meth habit and his erratic behavior, insisting that the only real problem was “the shadow people who keep changing the channels on my TV when I’m not looking.”
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