Gavin L., a 28-year-old call center worker in Des Moines, Iowa, spent his Wednesday afternoon contemplating the finer points of ditching modern life altogether and embracing the sweet, sweet relief of homelessness.
After yet another soul-crushing shift filled with irate customers, robotic apologies, and the same stale coffee that’s been cycling through the office for days, Gavin found himself staring out the window and seriously wondering, “Would being homeless really be that much worse?”
“I mean, think about it,” Gavin mused, stuffing his face with another vending machine granola bar, the call center’s version of fine dining. “Sure, you lose a bed, and, like, probably all your dignity. But at least you’re not stuck apologizing to someone because their internet’s down and their cat can’t livestream on TikTok.”
For Gavin, the thought of living without an apartment was becoming more appealing by the hour, especially as he tallied up the advantages. “No rent, no Wi-Fi bills, no Karen yelling at you because she forgot her password for the eighth time this week.”
At one point during his shift, Gavin Googled “how bad is homelessness really?” but was immediately distracted by an angry customer demanding to speak to the manager about the definition of “unlimited data.”
“I could live on the streets for a few weeks, see how it goes,” he said, almost excitedly. “You never hear about homeless people getting trapped in endless team meetings where the only agenda item is ‘circle back later.’ Maybe they’re onto something.”
Experts warn that homelessness comes with its own set of significant challenges, including limited access to basic needs and healthcare, but Gavin, undeterred, remains focused on the positives.
“Look, at the end of the day, it’s a trade-off. I mean, sure, I’d lose my health insurance, but does it really matter? I haven’t been to the doctor in five years because I can’t afford the copay anyway,” he added, with an air of newfound freedom. “And as for dental? Please. I’d rather lose a few teeth than listen to the words ‘escalate the ticket’ one more time.”
When asked what would be the hardest part about living on the streets, Gavin paused thoughtfully before replying: “Honestly, probably the lack of snacks. I rely heavily on those free pretzels in the break room.”
As Gavin logged out for the day, he noted that he wasn’t quite ready to take the plunge into street life just yet, but he was definitely one more rude customer away from asking his manager for a cardboard box and a park bench.
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