New Reality TV Show Will Feature Fat People Eating Donuts, as Producers Throw Loose Change at Them and Yell Fat-Themed Insults

Networks have officially run out of ideas with the announcement of The Biggest Gainer, a reality show where contestants eat donuts while being pelted with loose change and insults.

October 6, 20242 Mins read24

A television screen displays a man in a white shirt intensely biting into a donut while holding another in his other hand. His expression appears strained, and the scene is set against a plain background.

Networks Officially Out of Ideas

In a shocking turn of events that officially marks the death of creativity, the latest reality TV show announced by a major network will feature overweight contestants eating donuts while being pelted with loose change and subjected to fat-themed insults.

The concept, tentatively titled The Biggest Gainer, is the brainchild of a team of producers who, after exhausting every possible talent competition, dating show, and survival scenario, decided that watching people eat sugary snacks under the most demeaning conditions possible was the next logical step in the slow decline of televised entertainment.

“People love donuts, right? And insults? It’s a win-win,” said executive producer Mark B., visibly excited about the low production cost and inevitable social media backlash that will guarantee the show goes viral. “And honestly, we’re at a point where no one really cares about dignity. We’re here to entertain!”

Contestants Chosen Based on Their Willingness to Cry on Camera

In a recent casting call, hopefuls for the show were selected based on their ability to cry on demand while still keeping a glazed donut intact between sobs. Contestants will be given titles like “Krispy Queen” or “Dunkin’ Donut” depending on how many pastries they can stuff in their faces without breaking down completely.

“This is the future of television,” one producer exclaimed while practicing his aim with a handful of nickels. “We don’t need plot twists or character arcs. Just pure, unfiltered humiliation.”

Critics are calling the show “a moral catastrophe” but also admitting they’ll probably tune in for at least one episode, “just to see how bad it can get.”

Networks Embrace the Absurd

Industry insiders suggest this is part of a broader trend in reality TV, where producers have run out of ideas but still have to fill hours of airtime. Another upcoming show, Who Can Hold Their Breath Longest in a Hot Tub Full of Spaghetti, is already slated for a prime-time slot.

The network responsible for The Biggest Gainer is defending its decision, claiming it’s all in good fun. “We’re pushing the boundaries of what television can be, and what human beings can endure while being berated by producers with a megaphone,” said the show’s host, who remains anonymous due to potential legal repercussions.

The winner of the show will reportedly receive a lifetime supply of donuts and a jar full of the loose change that was thrown at them during filming. Because in 2024, that’s about the only thing that still makes sense.