Local optimist Karen M. remains resolute in her belief that the shiny new iPhone 15 promised by a flashing pop-up ad she clicked on in March will soon arrive, despite mounting evidence that it was, in fact, a scam. Six months and countless “urgent” emails from questionable sources later, Karen continues to insist that her free iPhone is just “delayed in shipping” and that the sudden sluggishness of her computer and a recent bout of bank fraud are “completely unrelated.”
“It’s a big corporate giveaway. These things take time,” Karen explained while watching her laptop take an unreasonably long time to load a single image of a lasagna recipe. “I mean, with all the global supply chain issues, it makes sense that my free iPhone 15 from ‘win-a-phone-right-now.biz’ might be delayed. I’m not worried. It’ll come.”
The situation began in March when Karen was browsing a website dedicated to casserole recipes and was bombarded with an aggressive, flashing ad that promised she had won a “BRAND NEW IPHONE 15!!!” if she simply provided some “basic details,” like her Social Security number, her credit card info, and a copy of her passport.
“It said I was the one millionth visitor!” Karen exclaimed. “How often does that happen? It’s fate. That’s not something you just pass up.”
Her friends and family have voiced concerns that the iPhone 15 giveaway might not be entirely legitimate. Karen, however, remains unfazed. “Look, they asked for my information to verify my shipping address,” she explained confidently. “It’s standard. You think Apple just hands out iPhones without knowing who you are? They’re a global company!”
Her husband, Dave, is significantly less enthusiastic about the “prize” and has expressed growing concern as the computer’s performance continues to deteriorate. “Every time she opens the browser, it’s nothing but pop-ups and weird ads in languages I’ve never even heard of,” Dave sighed, staring at the laptop’s flickering screen as an ad for ‘Free Solar Panels’ appeared for the 12th time that day. “She says it’s all part of the iPhone process, but I’m pretty sure this thing’s one click away from bursting into flames.”
Despite all this, Karen remains convinced that the recent drop in her computer’s speed—where it now takes upwards of 20 minutes to open a Word document—is nothing more than a coincidence. “It’s probably just a virus from that lasagna recipe website,” she speculated. “People love to upload malware with their marinara.”
But then came the email from her bank. Last month, Karen was informed that her account had been compromised, with several suspicious charges, including a payment to an overseas account labeled “iphone15_processingfees.reallytrustworthy.ru.” Despite this alarming development, Karen dismissed any connection between her quest for a free iPhone and the fraudulent charges. “Look, banks overreact all the time,” she said, fidgeting with her current phone, which now spontaneously shuts down during conversations. “It’s just a coincidence. These things happen.”
Her optimism shows no signs of fading, even as the computer has begun emitting strange sounds whenever she opens her email. “They sent me a confirmation just last week,” she said with a smile, pulling up an email titled “Congratulations, You’re a Winner!!! Click Here to Claim Your Prize!” she eagerly explained that the only thing left to do was to confirm her shipping address one more time and provide a “small processing fee.” When asked why the email was riddled with broken English and addressed her as “Deer Madam,” Karen shrugged it off. “Probably just a typo. Happens to the best of us.”
At this point, Karen’s friends have tried intervening, gently suggesting that the iPhone may never come and that the series of strange pop-ups offering “free cruises” and “discounted miracle cures” could be related. However, Karen is having none of it. “The website said I was guaranteed an iPhone 15, and I trust that,” she insisted, moments before an ad for “Totally Legitimate Apple Products” completely hijacked her browser.
As of press time, Karen was seen eagerly clicking on yet another link promising “FREE Apple Watch for iPhone 15 Winners!” while patiently ignoring several texts from her bank alerting her to suspicious activity on her account. “I mean, the iPhone 15 is worth the wait,” she said. “It’s probably in customs right now.”
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