Year: 2024
Local Man Feels Urge to Discuss Politics With Customer Service Rep
"I’m just here to help with your internet connection," said the customer service rep, just moments before reconsidering her entire life.
Local Man’s Biggest Turn-On Is Getting IRS Notices
Local man Dave R. reveals his unusual fetish for financial domination, finding excitement in debt and tax obligations rather than traditional kinks. He...
Jogger Spends More Time Picking Playlist Than Actually Running
"Local jogger Matt T. spends more time curating the ultimate 'Beast Mode' playlist than actually running – because true cardio requires a soundtrack."
Guy at Gym Still Doesn’t Know How to Use Half the Equipment, But He’s Not Asking
"Local gym-goer Todd R. has been misusing fitness equipment for six months and refuses all assistance, claiming he’s 'just here for the vibes.'"
Local Man Plays Another Round of Call of Duty, Sparking Parents’ Dog Adoption
"The dog won’t talk back, it won’t order DoorDash four times a week, and at this point, it has a better chance of...
New Study Reveals that Arizonans are 99% Likely to Use the Phrase ‘But It’s a Dry Heat’ Within 5 Minutes of Meeting You
"A new study confirms it: Arizonans will tell you 'it’s a dry heat' within minutes of meeting you, regardless of conversational context."
Intramural Softball Team Takes ‘No Alcohol’ Rule as a Suggestion, Not a Law
Zero victories, but infinite amounts of beer and camaraderie. "Pitch, Please" shows us all that winning isn't everything—especially when you've got a cooler...
Study Finds 98% of Hot Air Balloon Accident Victims Are White People
A new study shows 98% of hot air balloon fatalities involve white people, prompting scientists to dub it “The Latte Fatality Effect.” Could...
Lonely Woman’s “Cooking with Wine Night” Quickly Spirals Into Two-Bottle Bender
"There’s nothing like the taste of burning failure and Minute Rice,” Sarah said, wiping away a tear with a leftover chicken bone."
Local Man’s Wife Wants to Go to Farmer’s Market on Football Sunday, Doesn’t Understand Why That’s a Problem
Local man’s wife suggests a farmer's market trip on Football Sunday, completely oblivious to the devastating consequences for their marriage.
